“I’ve come this far
I’m not going back this time”
(Bodyjar)
I’ve been back at work for a couple of weeks. I have done many starts to the school year, but it never ceases to amaze me just how stark the contrast is between being ‘back at school’ and ‘back at school with students’. The term “hitting the ground running” doesn’t come close to the sheer velocity at which everything moves once you’re in front of the class – and it is exhausting.
My first day ‘back with students’ left me kind of shell-shocked and I found myself thinking for the first time in (what seemed like) a long time about having a drink. I recall the thought coming to me while sitting in my car at the exact location it has many times before. I don’t know whether it’s the visual stimuli that was around at the time or the number of minutes since leaving the parking lot, but my response was Pavlovian. I chose not to indulge the thought and resisted the temptation to reward myself for such a hard days work because, well, I’ve come this far …
I had my first game of soccer for the year yesterday and I was worried that if I was amongst others who were drinking, the temptation to join them would be too great. No Pavlovian response to report, but as I was perusing the canteen for something to consume between games, I had to remind myself of my 2021 goal and not purchase a Red Bear (an alcoholic beverage that our team shares the name of). As I said, I’ve come this far …
This afternoon I have plans to view a movie – it’s of a slightly different nature to most films in the sense that it will be playing the album “Unit” in its entirety. The venue will be serving alcohol and I’m sure that most of the other patrons will be partaking in a drink or two. Christian and I have plans to go for dinner afterwards – just to make a date of it and because we can. I know that there will be the temptation, or at the very least the thought, to have a nice glass of wine with dinner or a gin and tonic while watching the film. But I’m not worried that I will fail to reach my goal. The events of the past few weeks have taught me that I can be tempted, but that doesn’t mean I’ll fall.
I’ve come this far after all.
Wide in Tights 